Have you ever come home after a stressful day and immediately reached for your phone, favorite TV show, comfort food, or bed? Seeking comfort is a normal part of being human. In fact, comfort can help us recover from stress and recharge our energy. The challenge is knowing when comfort is helping us restore ourselves and when it is helping us avoid problems that need attention. However, social media, wellness influencers and advertisements have increasingly promoted the idea of “self-care,” sometimes encouraging us to spend money or engage in activities that may not actually improve our well-being.
Over time, the definition of self-care has become blurred. Originally, self-care referred to the deliberate, ongoing practice of taking actions to maintain or improve physical, emotional, and mental health. Self-care involves activities that reduce stress and support long-term well-being. Sometimes that may include watching your favorite TV show after work as a way to relax and unwind. But have you ever found yourself saying, “Just one more episode,” while putting off cooking dinner, doing laundry, or preparing for the next day because you’re exhausted? This is where understanding the difference between restoration and avoidance becomes important.
Restoration: Recharging your Mind & Body
Restoration is the intentional process of replenishing physical, emotional, and mental energy after stress or burnout. Restorative activities often leave us feeling refreshed, capable, and better prepared to handle life’s demands.
Physical Rest: Restoring the body through movement, sleep and relaxation.
Examples:
- Getting 7–9 hours of sleep
- Going for a walk
- Stretching before bed
- Taking breaks throughout the day
Mental Rest: Reducing cognitive overload and giving the mind space to recover.
Examples:
- Reading a chapter of a book
- * Practicing mindfulness
- * Listening to calming music
- * Spending time away from screens
Emotional Rest: Allowing yourself to process emotions and show up authentically.
Examples:
- * Journaling
- * Talking with a trusted friend
- * Crying when needed
- * Dancing, singing or expressing yourself freely
Restoration is important because chronic stress and burnout gradually deplete our energy. When we engage in restorative activities, we often return feeling more capable of addressing responsibilities, relationships and challenges.
Avoidance: When Comfort Keeps You Stuck
Avoidance is not always obvious. Sometimes it looks productive, and sometimes it feels comforting. The difference is that avoidance tends to provide short-term relief while allowing problems to remain unresolved.
Examples may include:
- Scrolling social media for hours
- Sleeping excessively to avoid responsibilities
- Ignoring difficult conversations
- Emotional eating
- Excessive gaming or television
- Using substances to numb emotions
These behaviors may temporarily reduce discomfort, but they often leave us feeling more stressed, guilty, disconnected or overwhelmed later. This does not mean these activities are always unhealthy. Watching television, sleeping in on a weekend, or scrolling social media occasionally can be perfectly normal. The question is whether the activity helps you return to your life feeling restored or whether it keeps you from engaging with your life altogether.
A Quick Self-Check
When considering whether an activity is self-care or avoidance, ask yourself:
Before:
- What am I needing right now?
- Am I tired, overwhelmed, lonely, stressed, or bored?
After:
- Do I feel refreshed?
- Do I feel more capable of handling my responsibilities?
- Am I avoiding something important?
- Does this help me move forward or keep me stuck?
A simple rule of thumb: If the activity helps you return to your life, it is likely restorative. If it keeps you from your life, it may be avoidance.
Social Media and Modern Self-Care
Social media can be a source of connection, entertainment and information. However, it can also become an easy escape when we feel overwhelmed. Endless scrolling may provide temporary distraction but can sometimes leave us feeling more drained, anxious or disconnected. There is a time and place for both comfort and restoration. We all need moments of rest, distraction and enjoyment. The goal is not to eliminate comfort but to become more intentional about how we care for ourselves. True self-care is not always what feels best in the moment. Sometimes it looks like setting boundaries, getting enough sleep, asking for help, taking a walk, attending therapy, or addressing a problem you’ve been avoiding. The next time you engage in an activity that feels comforting, ask yourself: “Is this helping me recover, or helping me avoid?” The answer may tell you a lot about what you need most.
If you’re unsure whether your current habits are helping you feel restored or simply helping you get through the day, consider completing a self-care assessment. The questionnaire below explores different areas of wellness, including physical, emotional, social, professional, and spiritual well-being. It can help identify areas that may benefit from more intentional self-care and support.
Click here for the questionnaire.
After completing the questionnaire, consider asking yourself:
- Which areas feel balanced and well-supported?
- Which areas may need more attention?
- Are my current coping strategies helping me feel restored?
- Am I engaging in activities that support long-term well-being or simply provide short-term relief?
While self-care can play an important role in maintaining wellness, there are times when additional support may be helpful. If stress, anxiety, burnout, relationship concerns, grief, or life transitions are affecting your daily functioning, your Employee Assistance Program (EAP) is available to help. Capital EAP services are confidential and can provide counseling, support, referrals and resources to assist with both personal and work-related concerns. To learn more about available services or schedule an appointment you can reach out to us at (518) 465-3813 or visit us on our website https://capitaleap.org
By: Demetria Desir, MHC Intern