Breakups are not exclusive to romantic relationships, friendship breakups can also occur with a similar or more impactful level of hurt. Break ups occur for several reasons and with each one comes a process of grieving the loss of the person once in our life. In this month’s article we will dive deeper into the emotional impact of friendship breakups, what can lead to them and how they are more common than expected.

Friendship breakups can be described in many ways. Some of them include:

  • Parting ways
  • Drifting apart
  • Falling out
  • Friendship loss

There is no one reason why friendships come to end however they can occur gradually or suddenly. It could look like a slow fade, where one or both people stop texting or calling, and suddenly months have gone by. Sometimes there are shifts in identity in which the person we are becoming or are now, does not align with the friends we surround ourselves with. Life transitions can also lead to fractures in friendships. Maybe it’s a move, entering a new relationship, having a baby or a job that becomes all consuming. Social circles also change over the course of our lives due to many factors. As we go through life our interests and priorities change. Something that once was a source of connection or a commonality changes and no longer holds friendships together. As people evolve, their core values, political beliefs, and interests may diverge. When friends no longer “click,” maintaining the relationship feels more like a forced obligation than an authentic connection.

It’s important to acknowledge that friendship breakup are a heart break and loss just like any other kind of breakup. The mind starts replaying memories, the good times, the shared gifts, the inside jokes. Emotional reactions can vary from sadness to confusion, anger and bittersweet memories. Sometimes we are unable to get closure or answers when friendships end. Being able to acknowledge these feelings when this happens and create space for them to exist is essential to healing and acceptance. Allow yourself time to heal and seek support from trusted sources. Remember that healing is not linear and you don’t have to go through it alone. Spending time with yourself and pouring back into your own cup can help work through painful feelings associated with the loss. Self-reflection can also be helpful to assist with the healing and growth process. Journaling, meditation and creative activities can support this process.

If you or someone you know has gone through a friendship breakup and would like support, know that our EAP Counselors are here to help. You can reach out to us at 518-465-3813 to connect with our intake team, who can help you set up an appointment. To quote Brian A. Dew, “People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime”.

Written by: Meryl Tremblay, LMSW, EAP Clinician