When children leave home, the quiet can arrive suddenly and with it, a swirl of emotions. What feels “normal” in this season is often a mix of sadness or loss for the day-to-day parenting role, relief from daily pressure, pride in your child’s independence, and sometimes confusion about who you are now. All of these reactions are valid. Recognizing that ambivalence is normal helps reduce shame and opens the door to practical coping.

You may be wondering, how do I cope with the transition? Start with small, concrete shifts.

  • Maintain routines that give structure (sleep, movement, social plans).
  • Create rituals to mark the change, this can look like a weekly call with your child, a “launch” dinner, or a memory box to revisit on meaningful dates.
  • Prioritize connection, schedule regular time with friends, join a class, or volunteer.
  • Practical planning helps too. Planning ahead can look like reviewing your calendar, your finances, and household tasks to redistribute responsibilities so things feel manageable rather than overwhelming.

Parenting is often a central life role, its ebb requires gentle reauthoring of self. Reconnect with dormant interests or try something new like art, travel, study, or a part-time job. For practical, step-by-step ideas on reclaiming purpose and reimagining adult relationships with your children, consider reading Filling The Empty Nest: Simple Strategies to Rediscover Your Purpose, Reinvent Yourself, and Reimagine Your Kids as Adults by Rick Baptist. This book offers concrete exercises and mindset shifts that pair well with the suggestions explored thus far in this article. If you’re partnered, use this change in routine as a chance to rediscover each other. Contemplate planning shared activities, talk about hopes and routines, and consider couples’ check-ins. Therapy or a support group can be especially helpful for unpacking grief, easing perfectionism, or working through complicated family dynamics.

The holiday season can amplify emptiness or expectations.

  • Set realistic plans in advance.
  • Think about creating new traditions that include extended family or friends, offer your child clear invitations rather than assumptions, and limit perfectionist pressures around hosting.
  • Schedule self-care during busy periods (short walks, grounding breaths, brief tech breaks).
  • Be willing to say “no” to activities that drain you.

Here are some quick practical take-away tips as you navigate the transition

  • Build a “joy list” of small, replenishing activities.
  • Keep connection intentional, book engagements like calendar calls and visits.
  • Volunteer or mentor to transfer parental energy into meaningful roles.
  • Seek professional support if sadness persists beyond a few months or disrupts daily functioning.

Empty nesting is a major life transition painful at times, but also rich with opportunity. With curiosity, structure, and social support, this season can become a chapter of renewed purpose and deeper self-connection. Take it one small step at a time, and remember, rediscovering yourself is not erasing the past, you’re building on it! If you would like assistance on navigating this new normal, we at Capital EAP would love to help! Reach out to us at 518-465-3813 to connect with our intake team to make an appointment.

By: Denelle Abel, LHMC, SAP, EAP Clinical Supervisor