A value that is emphasized in this month is freedom as the 4th of July remembers the independence America fought for 250 years ago. As society celebrates this freedom it may encourage us to look inward, to see if our personal lives match this value. Amid the barbecues and fireworks some may find it hard to feel this freedom on daily basis overwhelmed by pressures of life. This article hopes to recognize and empower the personal freedom we can fight for in our everyday lives.
Personal freedom can be defined as the areas in our lives where we can freely choose, express and have control over. In times of significant distress, it’s easy think of areas we cannot control for example rising inflation, weather, or other people’s actions. This can lead to feeling of helplessness as we focus on these unmovable mountains in our lives. During these moments it maybe be helpful to shift the perspective to focus on the areas of life that we can control like our actions, responses, and what we prioritize. Meryl, one of our EAP counselors, provided a great resource about the wheel of control in her previously article: https://capitaleap.org/accepting-what-you-cant-control-meeting-life-as-it-is/. Shifting our focus to what we can control can help empower us to embrace our personal freedom.
However, it can be difficult prioritizing our personal freedom due to too much focus on how others may feel. This thinking deviates from the concept of people pleasing which is when an individual constantly prioritizes other people’s needs above their own. Living in these behavioral patterns can restrict our freedom they as push down personal desires to satisfy others and bring up feelings of guilt when we prioritize ourselves. This can further lead to feeling of unprocessed anger and resentment for others in relationships.
To avoid these patterns, it’s important to shift the focus on empowering the choices that we make. A way to do this is through the acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) technique of values identification. This technique suggests that identifying core values will make individuals more comfortable and confident with behaviors that align with those values. This worksheet attached helps to identify common values you may want to explore: https://farms.extension.wisc.edu/files/2020/11/Core-Values-Exercise.pdf
It is also important to set and communicate boundaries for yourself and others. Setting boundaries allows you to remain consistent with the choices that align closely with your core values. In addition, communicating the boundary with others helps to reinforce personal freedom in areas of our lives. Effectively communicating these boundaries using “I” statements and expressing feelings helps to foster understanding within other individuals of your needs so they can be met.
Embracing personal freedom can sound daunting for some and a new experience for others, however capital EAP is here to help. Feel free to call our intake team at at 518-465-3813 to set an appointment so we can help empower you with personalized tools on your journey of personal freedom.
By: Judeson Luctamar, MHC Intern