In any workplace, challenges are bound to arise among workers, even in the most professional work environment. It can be either frustration from members of the public, a coworker that is under so much stress or a conversation that gets tense, and things escalate. Sometimes this can be due to things beyond us, and it is important that interactions are kept professional and respectful. These challenges can make us feel frustrated, stressed and sometimes unsafe. There are strategies that you can use to navigate these situations.

  • Separate the behavior from the person: It is important that when addressing a tough situation at work you focus on the behavior itself rather than the person you are addressing. Use “I” statements when addressing the issue, for example, “When you interrupt me, I feel like my opinion isn’t valued.” Instead of labelling the person, focus on the observable actions that can be changed. This helps to keep the conversation on specific behaviors that can be changed rather than attacking the person.
  • Documentation where necessary: If at any point the interaction is getting hostile and physical, be sure to document what went down, who was involved, when it occurred and where it occurred; as soon as possible. This helps you have a record that helps you when the issue escalates to HR or your manager.
  • Prioritize your safety: It is important that you prioritize your safety. This can be done by maintaining distance, keeping a calm tone and trusting your instincts. If at any point you feel unsafe, step away immediately and seek help from security or a manager if needed.
  • Know how and when to step away: Sometimes, the most professional way to respond is to step away to create space for emotions to settle and for everyone involved to take time to think clearly.

Here are some scripts that can help you step away without appearing avoidant or dismissive:

  • “I hear your concerns about this issue; I will review the details and follow up with you later”.
  • “I understand that you are upset, I am going to step away briefly and bring in someone who can best support you”.
  • “I want to make sure I’m hearing you clearly. Let’s pause and come back when we have both had a chance to gather our thoughts about the issues”.

Here are some de-escalation phrases to use when you feel things getting out of hand:

  • “I hear your concern, let’s take a step back to look at this together”
  • “I’d like to better understand where things stand right now. Can you share your thoughts and perspective with me?”
  • “I want to work towards a solution that helps us both”
  • “I can see this is important to you, I’d like us to talk about it when we are both ready”

Tough interactions can have a toll on your mental health. Remember, you don’t have to manage difficult interactions on your own. If you ever feel overwhelmed or know someone that is overwhelmed, our counselors at Capital EAP are here to provide confidential support, even with guidance in conflict management and finding resources to help manage whatever stress that comes up for you. You can reach out to us at 518-465-3813 to contact our intake team, who can help you set up an appointment.

By: Oreoluwa Afolabi, MHC Intern