Society has its expectations for everyone and over the past generations, for men, the expectation has been to express their masculinity in a way that is detrimental to their mental health. You will hear statements like “man up”, “don’t show your weakness”, “you should be able to push through”, and many more like the ones listed. Men often receive the message that showing pain, being vulnerable or asking for help isn’t fit for them. These societal expectations for men make it difficult for some to be themselves, express themselves or even look to seek for help when they need it. We can rewrite the narrative by understanding that real strength comes from self-awareness and vulnerability. Being vulnerable doesn’t make you weak, it shows that you are in connection with your emotions which helps you grow in different parts of yourself. It is important that we understand the challenges men face and make sure safe spaces are available for them to express themselves.

A safe space is one that allows men to express their emotions, challenges and experience without fear of being judged or dismissed. It is one that replaces the pressure to be “strong” with the freedom to be authentic. These spaces can exist in different settings: our friendship, workspaces, community and even our homes. It can look like:

  • A judgement free environment that encourages openness and honesty
  • Conversations that welcome vulnerability rather than dismiss it
  • Workspaces that normalize check-ins
  • Spaces where empathy, active listening and experience validation are valued
  • Freedom to express pain, guilt and fear without shame.
  • In better understanding and helping men, it is also important to be aware of signs that the men around you may be struggling mentally. These signs can look like;
  • Changes in behavior and mood: this could be sudden changes in their behavior like increased irritation or anger that cannot be explained, this can cause them to stay away so they don’t interact with others.
  • Increased use of substances: Constant use of substances to “numb the pain” is also a sign men could be struggling mentally. Some turn to substances to cope, pay attention to this and refer or provide resources that could help them.
  • Withdrawal from social activities or change in work performance: when you notice they are pulling away from family, friends and social activities and are isolating themselves as a way of distraction this may be an indicator that they are struggling. Also showing signs of less interest in the work they would normally enjoy can be a sign as well.
  • Frequent conversations on self-harm and suicide: when a man expresses thoughts of harm or suicide, it should be taken seriously. Listen to them without judgement, express your concerns and encourage them to seek support while being there for them.

Breaking the silence starts with taking the first step, reaching out for help when you need it. Remember you don’t have to go through tough emotions or experiences alone. If you or someone you know is going through a rough time, do reach out or refer them to Capital EAP, let’s help break the stigma together. Our counselors at Capital EAP are ready and available to help guide you on this journey. You can reach out to us at 518-465-3813 to connect with our intake team, who can help you set up an appointment. Remember, reaching out isn’t a sign of weakness, it is a step towards healing and growth.

By: Oreoluwa Afolabi, Capital EAP MHC Intern