As humans, we experience emotions. This is a non-negotiable fact, as much as we may try to suppress them or may not fully understand them. Our emotions play an integral role in our well-being as they influence our thoughts and behaviors and help us connect, communicate and even cope with all that occurs in our day-to-day life. Feeling an emotion, whether that be elation, frustration, disappointment or any other, is a natural process, though at times, it may be challenging to express them in a healthy way to the outside world.

However, it is important to note that healthy emotional expression contributes greatly to enhancing our mental well-being, improving relationships, and promoting personal growth. Plus, it reduces the need to rely on bottling up the feelings and eventually exploding when it’s too much to bear. Let’s explore how emotional expression works, and then dive into some strategies we can utilize to externalize our internal emotional states.

We can break emotional expression into two processes:

  1. Understanding your emotions: The first step in healthy emotional expression is recognizing and acknowledging your emotions. This involves paying attention to your emotions, recognizing what you are feeling, and understanding the underlying causes. They can be triggered by a specific event, internal thought, or a combination of both, and so understanding the connection between what occurred and the emotion that followed is a good start to interpreting how you will express it. A pro-tip would be to use an Emotion Wheel to help get familiar with and identify different types of emotions.
  2.  Expressing your emotions: Once we make sense of the emotion, we decide if and how we will communicate the emotion. Sometimes, based on the situation or our personal background/culture, we may choose to suppress it entirely, express it in a way that may be harmful to ourselves or others, or express a completely different emotion. If we decide to express how we’re feeling, this can take different forms: facial or bodily expressions (a smile, crossing your arms), or even behaviors or statements (screaming into a pillow, saying “That made me really upset”).

Learning how to express your emotions in an appropriate way is a vital skill that can allow us to live a more balanced, healthy, and emotionally rich life. Here are some ways in which we can practice this skill:

  • Avoid labeling emotions as “good” or “bad”: Remember, emotions are a natural way for us to communicate our experiences, and so it’s more helpful to accept them for what they are when they come and reflect on why you’re feeling that emotion.
  • Choose the right time and place: When deciding how to express your emotion, depending on the situation, it may be best to identify an appropriate time or place where you feel safe and comfortable to have that emotional reaction. This may not always be possible, but being mindful of when and where may prompt for more effective expression. For example, going to a quiet room, or maybe going outside, instead of expressing an intense emotion in a high-stress environment could provide a more positive experience.
  • Use “I” statements: Focus on taking ownership of your feelings, which can help reduce defensiveness and allow how you communicate to be more constructive. For example, saying “I feel overwhelmed when…” instead of “You make me feel overwhelmed when…” removes the action of assigning blame and is less confrontational.
  • Find different, healthy outlets: Sometimes directly expressing how you feel you may be uncomfortable or just unable to be done at that time. This is completely fine, as there are different ways in which you can creatively express your emotions, such as writing, painting, dancing, various relaxation techniques, and much more. These outlets can help you process complex feelings and communicate them in a non-verbal way. Find what works best for you in that moment.
  • Set your emotional boundaries: Establishing boundaries helps to give you control over your well-being. Create limits of what is acceptable for your emotions as they can help you preserve and safeguard your feelings. This can look like setting a boundary for when and how you are willing to discuss your emotions, refusing to communicate until the other person stops yelling and is calm, or deciding what sensitive information you’re willing or not to talk about with specific people.
  • Seek support: If you feel you need further help, always reach out to friends, family, or mental health professionals that you can trust to guide you through exploring and expressing your feelings.

Mastering healthy emotional expression is a journey that can not only enhance your mental and physical health but also foster deeper, more meaningful connections with others. It’s highly important to be in tune with not only your emotions but also how your body reacts to them as our emotions affect the body, and suppressing them can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and depression as well as headaches, high blood pressure, and even a weakened immune system.

If you feel that you need help with handling your emotions and finding the best ways to express them, please don’t hesitate to reach out to our intake team at 518-465-3813 to schedule an appointment and connect with one of our counselors.

By: Nakisha Williams, MHC Intern